She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize