I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
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I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
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They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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