Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
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He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
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You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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