He asked to "fluff my boner.."
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize