Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you have to choose: penises or morals?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Randomize
