what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
