She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
