remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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