so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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