I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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