And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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