just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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