Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
