im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
