We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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