Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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