i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
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Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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