Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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