I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
