I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
