Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Who wears a wallet chain?!

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(585): View more from New York

he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him

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(707): View more from California

last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.

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(760): View more from California

Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire

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(732): View more from New Jersey

no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in

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(847): View more from Illinois

There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.

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(530): View more from California

How on earth did you break your wrist?

(1-530): View more from California

I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse

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