Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
