There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
