No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
