she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize