Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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