the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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