She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
