I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
this is an emotional support booty call
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
