Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
