New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
