Don't you send me to vm
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
