I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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