all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
