She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
