I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
