I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
