I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I am one with the molecules
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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