It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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