coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
this is an emotional support booty call
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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