We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
