I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
