sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
