i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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