Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
