you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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