I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
