He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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