im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
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She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
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Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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