Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im holly from the hills drunk
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
