its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
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I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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