Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
