Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
