remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
