escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
