I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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