You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
