How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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