Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize