Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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