Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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