is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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