woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
