No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
